Extra Notes
Below you will find some of my personal notes. Most of these ideas have been expanded upon, some not…
Cornerstone to all ↓
- Tap into the best version of both.
- Create a POMO
(Position of Most Opportunity)
Meaning ~ after the breakup, always be moving toward a POMO, creating your “strongest position” from which the odds of saving your relationship is maximised, as well as the odds of living a happy life regardless.
Tips ↓
Summon all of these:
- Use The Clash Of Wills Neutraliser (COWN) — to take the wind from their sails
- Find an overlapping point you can agree on
- Expand your circle to encompass their circle
- Don’t defend yourself (they defend you)
- Agree completely (AC)
- Move from NC to AC (High Ground Manoeuvre)
- Find the right in the wrong, and speak to that
- Be absorbed in independence
- Soften the negative emotions
- HAST (Happy Attitude, Small Talk)
- Right wrongs (correct the obvious problems)..
- Blend the rest into the relationship
- Know your feelings are BRATS
- Look through the “Lens of Pride” (protecting pride) for every interaction and action performed
There’s a logical order to these matters:
- Make yourself good;
- Make yourself available;
- Make someone very happy who makes you happy in return
(Optional — #3 could be your ex.)
If you think of it in that order you will find life to make more sense.
#1 is to return the spark in the eyes “find yourself”